A young lady is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.

She says: ''You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you''

The boyfriend says: ''Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?''

"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?''
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A kangaroo at the Sydney zoo kept getting out of his enclosure every night. Knowing that mature kangaroos could hop very high, the zoo officials replaced the eight-foot fence with a ten-foot fence. He was out the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.

They tore down the ten-foot fence and put up a fifteen-foot fence.He was out again the next morning.

A twenty-foot fence was put up.Again he go out.

When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll go?"

The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody thinks to lock the gate at night!"