Saturday, January 3, 2009

I know it’s silly but it is becoming increasingly difficult to put down “Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix”. I remember that when this book was first released, a close friend had complained to me that her husband – a certified Potter fan – wouldn’t part with the book – except for eating meals, taking bath and answering nature’s call! Though I am a Potter fan myself, I had sympathized with her.

But I know better now. :-)
It never struck me till a newspaper article brought it up. We have all praised those who died in the line of duty when the “10 cowards from Pakistan” went on a rampage on 26th November in Mumbai. But we, as a nation, seem to have forgotten about all those common citizens who died when all that they were doing was going about life as usual. :-( I stand guilty as charged for not having written a single line in their memory here.

But it’s not too late I suppose to make amends. And so I pray here that all those who lost their lives that day find peace!

I need to rectify one more mistake. There were countless others – cops, commandoes, railway staff, Taj and Oberoi staff, Fire Brigade people – who went beyond their call of duty to save lives. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for what you did! And I pray that, God Forbid, but if such an incident occurs again in this country, then all of us find strength and courage to fight back and to save lives.
As if the recent financial Tsunami wasn't enough, there are these predictions that one Igor Panarin - former KGB analyst and Russian academic - has been making since 1998. He is saying that a civil war in the United States will lead to the eventual fall of the country - in 2010!

http://www.presstv.ir/detail.aspx?id=79878&sectionid=3510203

Sure, the US has its dark side - like all countries in the world. But even though the US has always tilted heavily in favor of India's next-door-neighbor, I would still hate to see it break up like this. Despite its faults it has so many good things that the rest of us might want to learn from. Nope, I don't like what Mr. Panarin is saying. And this is saying a lot - considering that I have always had some inexplicable affinity towards Russia and her people!

Moreover, after seeing the Domino effect of the US subprime mortgage crisis, I shudder to think what such a civil war would do to the rest of the world. :-(

The word "civil war", however, brought with it a sickening fear for my own country with its many states - each with a different local language, culture and food habits. If the US goes down like this, how will it affect India? Would each of my fellow countrymen, too, want to go along with those who speak the same language as he/she does? Or will the friendships that each of us have built over the years with people of other communities be strong enough to weather such an attack? :-(

Will the Indian map as I know it still be there?

On a lighter note though – wonder if anyone in Pakistan has read about this :-)

Friday, January 2, 2009

Some cool SMSs for New Year wishes

Here are two of the SMSs that friends sent me:

May your income rise like price of $
Your worries crash like Sensex
Your health improve like gold
and your troubles fall like crude
Have a peaceful 2009

Be careful from other duplicate new year wishers
I am the only authorised ISO 9001-2009 Certified Wisher in new year!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Happy 2009!

My Happy New Year wish for you
Is for your best year yet,
A year where life is peaceful,
And what you want, you get.

A year in which you cherish
The past year’s memories,
And live your life each new day
Full of bright expectancies.

I wish for you a holiday
With happiness galore;
And when it’s done, I wish you
Happy New Year, and many more.

- By Joanna Fuchs (Source www.poemsource.com)
As I read through “Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix”, one thing is becoming clear – the situation is getting grimer and darker। Gone are the mornings spent in enjoying breakfast in the castle and the evenings spent in Hagrid’s cabin over tea and rock cakes.

I, too, am starting to look suspiciously at every character – right from Ron’s elder brother Percy to the girl Luna. I know who dies at the end of this novel but I hope and pray that by the time I turn the last page of the last book of this series, I find at least all of the Weasleys, Hagrid and Hermione alive. :-(

साधू: बच्चे तेरी बीवीको चुडेल चिपक गई है, उपाय करवाओं.

बंटा: उपाय? बाबा, अगर दो बेहेंने गले मिल रही है तो इसमे हर्जही क्या है?

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नेपोलियन: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.

संता: तो dictionary देख कर खरीदनी थी।

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संता: अगर तुम्हे कुछ हो गया तो मै पागल हो जाउगा

जीतो: दूसरी शादी तो नही करोगे?

संता: पागलका क्या है, कुछभी कर सकता है

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Santa was riding on a horse। He jumped the red light & a cop whistled.


Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Bethlehem! The place where Christ was born! I am a Hindu but have wondered, for reasons unknown, whether I will be able to one day visit Bethlehem and Jeruslem. That’s why when I saw the title “Bethlehem under fire” I decided to watch the program on the National Geographic.

It was about a church in Bethlehem - I neither remember its name nor did I catch the year it happened - which was under siege by a group of Palestinians. And the Israeli forces had the church surrounded. You cannot have a more perfect example of the conflict that the three faiths – Judaism, Christanity and Islam – are having over this land!

I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the walls erected around Bethlehem to prevent suicide terrorists from entering. I felt sad for people who lost their business because of the dwindling tourist traffic. And I shook my head when I heard that people need permit to travel from Bethlehem to Jeruslem. :-(

The church siege ended peacefully though there were a few casualties. The Palestinians walked out of the church and were deported to Gaza. One of the Christian priests who was inside the church said that at one point the Pope called him to assure that he was praying for them and when the Palestinians heard that they were relieved. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this irony.

I tuned in to one of the news channels after this program ended – and saw the Breaking News “Israel has attacked Hamas in Gaza. Hamas vows revenge by suicide bombers”!
The Pope might have asked people to build bridges and not walls – but sadly humanity seems to be intent on burning all the bridges as it hurtles at breakneck speed towards the end. :-(

At this speed I wonder if there will be any wise men left to see the bright star, even if it shines in the skies :-(

हसना जरुरी है (Forwarded)

संता: रात फ़िल्ममें एक चुडैल कभी मेरे आगे, कभी मेरे पीछे घूम रही थी
जीतो: कौनसी फ़िल्म थी?
संता: अपनी शादीकी मुव्ही थी
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लेडी डॉक्टर: तुम रोज सुबह क्लिनिकके बाहर खड़े होकर औरतोंको क्यो घूरते हो?
संता: जी, आपहीने बाहर लिखा है, औरतोंको देखनेका समय ९-११
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मिलिटरी कप्तान: नौजवान आगे बढो
संता आगे नही बढ़ता
मिलिटरी कप्तान: तुम आगे क्यो नही बढे?
संता: आपने कहा नौ जवान आगे बढो, मै दसवे नंबरपे था.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

And now time for some male bashing (Forwarded)

Q. What is the difference between men and puppies?
A. Puppies grow up.

Q. Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A. Because they are…

Q. What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A. Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.

Q. What did God say after He created man?
A. I can do better than this! And then He created woman.

Q. What is the difference between an intelligent man and a UFO?
A. I don’t know. I have never seen either.

Q. What are two reasons why men don’t mind their own business?
A. (i) No mind (ii) No business.

Q. What is the difference between men and pigs?
A. Pigs don’t turn into men when they drink!

Q. What do you do with a man who thinks he’s God’s gift?
A. Exchange him!

Q. Why do men like smart women?
A. Opposites attract!

40 Tips for a Better Life-2009 (Forwarded)

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today.'
5. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and flowing energy into your life.
14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, OR issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
17.. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
30. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!)
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please Forward this to everyone you care about. I just did.

May your troubles be less, May your blessings be more, May nothing but happiness come through your door!

Monday, December 29, 2008

I read about a Chinese movie called “Postman in the mountain”. Hope I will be able to watch it one day :-)

These ads don't add up (Part 2)

I have always laughed at the old man in the MDH ads. I mean, he seems like the odd man out in the ad world full of reed-thin beauties, muscled hunks, Bollywood badshahs and Men in the blue. But this time the ad is so over the top – what with its ‘Royal’ look – that I wondered whether to laugh or tear my hair out in frustration.

Guys, is it so difficult to find a suitable plot to promote your spices? Why not cast dear old grandpa as the alltime favorite Chacha Chowdhury (he certainly looks the part!) who has a few tricks up his sleeve when it comes to cooking and doesn’t mind sharing them with hapless cooks who don’t know how to turn out a tasty meal?
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Now about the HDFC Life Insurance ad! I marvel at the audacity (or tactlessness) of the guest who asks the kid what will he do if his dad is lost. I can sympathize with the kid’s mom who, in keeping with the Atithi Devo Bhav (Guest is God) Indian culture, can’t do much except for shooting a mildly baleful glance at the guest. My own reaction, in a similar situation, I think, would have been a more acidic one :-)

I am not able to exactly put my finger to it but this ad seemed like an odd way of promoting life insurance.
2008 has been a trying year for many. As Harry Potter says to Fred and George at the end of “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” – we all could do with a few laughs. I am going to do my bit to provide some light moments to those who might chance upon this blog, and so, for the remaining days of this year I am going to post some jokes here. Of course, being one of those who believe that what you do on the first day sets the tone for the coming year, I will put up some funny entries on 1st of January as well.

So stop by and laugh with me as 2008 fades into 2009. :-)

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Whose is that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child.
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Q: Why did Santa take his pregnant wife Jeeto to Pizza Hut?
A: Because they advertised: 'Free Delivery'
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Santa joined NASA.
After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

These ads don't add up (Part 1)

And now about a few recent TV ads that have left me non-plussed:

For the first time in my life, I saw a Wipro ad – selling some kind of energy efficient lights. Wonder if promoting this non-IT business is part of its hedging strategy now aka Satyam ;-)

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Can someone please explain to me what Tata Capital is trying to convey through its advertisement? Puzzled, but too lazy to flip through the channels to catch it? Let me tell you the plot.

We see a pair of little girls pottering about in the house when they chance upon a coin. They dash to the neighborhood vendor selling flavored ice (barf ka gola) but the vendor takes one look at the coin and gives it back – it’s apparently an old coin. Disappointed, the girls walk back when an older boy smiles and asks them to show him the coin. He asks them to wait for a while and visits an antique shop. The next frame shows us the kid handing out flavored ice to the girls and urging them to enjoy it.

The superb execution of this ad makes me watch it every time it’s aired. But I have some questions: was the antique coin worth only two scoops of flavored ice? If not, what happened to the rest of the money? Did the boy get a raw deal from the antique shop or did he pocket all the rest of it as his “management fees”? :-) In either case, this ad might make the targeted audience think twice before entrusting their hard-earned money with Tata Capital.

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The lesser said about the Kotex Slimz ad the better. They seem to have got all the wrong things together – right from the shoddy concept till the shoddy execution!
Hmmm......I finally finished reading "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" :-) Must say though that I am not happy that Hermione let Rita Skeeter go scot-free. Hope this doesn't hurt Harry in the long run. :-(

I have read "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix" back in 2003 so I know which character dies :-( But I am determined to read this series through till the end this time!

अर्ज किया है (Forwarded)

तू सवाल नही एक पहेली है
मेरी मंझिल तू नही तेरी सहेली ही

चाँदपे काली घटा छाती तो होगी
सितारोंको मुस्कुराहट आती तो होगी
तुम लाख छुपाओ दुनियासे मगर
अकेलेमें तुम्हे अपनी शकलपे हँसी आती तो होगी

घुन्गटमें तुझे देखा तो दीवाना हु
संगीतका तराना हुआ, शमाका परवाना हुआ
मस्तीका मस्ताना हुआ, जैसेही घुन्गट उठाया
इस दुनियासे रवाना हुआ

जबजब हमे प्यास लगती है
उनके आनेकी आस लगती है
उनकी दीवानगीमें हम हो गए इतने दीवाने
की हर लड़कीकी माँ अपनी सास लगती है

दिलके दर्दको जुबापे लाते नही
हम अपनी आखोसे आसू बहाते नही
जख्म चाहे कितनाभी गहरा क्यो ना हो
हम Dettol के सिवा कुछ लगाते नही