I heard that the tickets of the new movie Mukhbir come with a money-back guarantee. I am not joking - you can get the money back if you don’t like the movie. Without even thinking about the Moral Hazard (even if people like the movie they can ask for refund) I am wondering if it is supreme self-confidence or total desperation that is behind this.

I sighed as I thought of so many movies that I have wasted my hard-earned money on. Two of them distinctly stand out – one was “Had kar di aapne” starring Govinda and Rani Mukherjee. I managed to survive till intermission and then walked out fearing total mental collapse. And the other movie is Battlefield Earth starring John Travolta and a bunch of yellow-toothed aliens. I distinctly remember brushing my teeth twice that night. :-)

Wonder if Dev Anand will ever announce such a scheme ;-)

Mai KKrishna

So now we have KEkta Kkapoor’s Mahabharat! Frankly, when I heard that she is planning such a thing I wondered why. Most of her serials already can be adequately described as Mahabharat - what with people plotting to grab wealth, brothers up in arms against each other, women adding fuel to fire aka Draupadi’s “Andhe ka putr andha” taunt to Duryodhana, hapless moms trying to restore peace (aka Kunti) and one person always on the side of the truth (Yudhisthir).

But when I heard the star cast I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I think Chetan Hansraj would have done better justice to the character of Duryodhana than Aryan Vaid. I simply cannot imagine Vaid playing any of the Pandavas or Kauravas because that would demand that he show some form of emotion! Pity this isn’t Ramayana or he would have been a perfect cast for Vaali, Sugriva or Angad. All that facial hair as a monkey would have hidden away his inability to emote :-)

I don’t think Kiran Juneja had much to do as Ganga in the old Mahabharat except for appearing from time to time to dole out advice to son Bheeshma. So I wonder what made Sakshi Tanwar accept this role in Kkapoor’s Mahabharat. Take a look at Ronit Roy’s Bheeshma and tell me you are not reminded of the kings in “Lord of the Rings”.

What baffled me most of all was the choice for Draupadi – Anita Hassanandani. For those of you who have never heard of this lady before, she was the one gyrating with Tushhar Kapoor to the beat of “Tere ishq ki diwanagi sar pe chhadh ke bole” in “Kuchh to hai”. Doesn’t ring a bell still? Well, you won’t be the only one like that so here’s another clue – she played Sohail Khan’s wife in Krishna Cottage. Still saying “huh?” with a blank look on your face? I can’t help you. Go watch KEkta’s Mahabharat.

I am also wondering about the word “Apane” in “Kahani apane Mahabharat ki”. Does that mean KEkta will take poetic licenses with the original saga. Maybe, after the “Lakshagruh” incident the Pandavas will resurface with entirely new faces. Maybe, Karna will be brought back to life after popular demand - aka Mihir Virani. The possibilities are simply endless. Only time will tell – "Mai Samay hu" :-)

So folks, let’s brace ourselves for the army of KKunti, KKarna, KKrishna and of course the battle of KKurukshetra :-)