Agree to disagree, pal

Is it possible for friends to have a difference of opinion on important matters and still go on being friends? A few years back I would have said "Hell No" but now I will say "Yes, it is". In fact I would go so far as to say that every friendship worth counting on should have one or two such matters where friends have agreed to disagree. That makes the friendship strong.

I still remember when I had a big difference of opinion with one of my best friends. Kargil war was on and I came up with the idea of sending letters to soldiers fighting the war. I emailed all my friednds. Only 3 of them replied and one of my best friends wasn't among those. I thought she was too busy to check her emails so I called her up. When she said she had read my email I was surprised. I was so sure she will respond with a "Yes" that I asked her why she didn't. She replied that she is not for wars and sending letters to soldiers sounded like encouraging a war. So she was not with me on this one.

I was shocked to the core. It felt as if I didn't know this person at all. I tried to reason with her "Look, it's not as if I am fond of wars, but we aren't doing anything to stop wars from happening, right? So we might as well thank those who are risking their lives daily to protect us".

She was adamant however. She would not send any letter to the border. I felt hurt and betrayed.But fortunately I saw reason. I agreed to disagree. I sent my letter but didn't lose my friend. And since then I have believed that such disagreements go a long way to show how strong the friendship is.

Of course it goes without saying that such difference of opinion should not disturb basic values that either friend holds dear. If that's the case, then all bets are off.

On a lighter note, one of my best friends who is into software testing lives by the motto "All developers are fools". And I, coming from a software develoment background, believe with all my heart that "God need not have created testing teams". A difference of opinion on a very important matter but we continue to be the best of buddies! :-)

So next time you are mad at your friend for not seeing things the way you do, think for a minute and see if you can agree to disagree!

Tuesdays with Morrie

I have devoured one more book by Agatha Christie since I last wrote here - Sparkling Cyanide.Surprisingly this one had neither Poirot nor Miss Marple but it was as delectable as any other Christie book. I had one of my usual feelings when I turned the last page - a curious mixture of happiness at the enjoyment of a good book and sadness that the book is over!

The choice of the next book, however proved to be a tough one. I deliberated over a collection of ghost stories by well-known authors (like Agatha Christie and Oscar Wilde), "Many Lives, Many Masters" (by Dr. Brian Weiss), Tolstoy's War and Peace (must confess here that its sheer size convinced me that it will take me no less than a month to work through it!) and Tuesdays with Morrie (by Mitch Albom). Finally, I took "Tuesdays with Morrie" home with me.

Looking back, this choice seems rather a strange one because as a rule I stay away from self-help books or from books that deal with serious subjects like death. However, I wanted to know what this professor - who was spending his last days on earth crippled by a cruel disease - had to teach in his last ever course which was attended by only one of his students - Mitch Albom.

As I read through the first few pages, I am reminded of the movie "Anand". Years before, when I had watched the movie I had wondered how someone who is about to die can remain so cheerful. In fact, Anand seemed more alive than those around him who had years to live. He seemed so not afraid of death. I feel this professor Morrie was like that.I want to find why and how.

And I am hoping that he answers some of my questions on life and death as he goes on teaching Mitch. God knows I have many - so many in fact that sometimes it seems like there are more questions than answers!

"Chuck de" hockey and football

It took me a day to come back to the natural shade of my complexion. I was soooo green with envy - first at the filmstars who bid obscene amounts of money and then at the cricketeers who walked away with hefty pay packages. BTW was I the only one who felt squimish about the auctioning of human beings?

I agree, it's "All about money, honey" and so people like to put money where more money will be generated. But then it's sad that we are not at all investing in the sports which need promoting big time.

Has anyone even heard of sports called hockey and football?

I was searching for some quotes on "the first day at job" to SMS one of my friends who just took up a new one.

I found this absolutely hilarious one by Drew Carey:

"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar. "

And to the following one:

"Learn to think in positive affirmations. Affirmations are any statements you make. Too often we think in negative affirmations. Negative affirmations only create more of what you say you don't want. Saying, I hate my job, will get you nowhere. Declaring, I now accept a wonderful new job, will open the channels in your consciousness to create that.

--Louise Hay"

I have to say "Lady, come work in the company where I work" :-)

I have never been to Appu Ghar. Still, the news of its closing down saddened me.

So when I read that there is a possibility of it getting relocated to another site in Delhi (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Appu_Ghar_seeks_alternative_site/articleshow/2796904.cms), I was really happy for the sake of all the children (and grownups too!) who would have been otherwise deprived of enjoying its joy rides!

I hope and pray that Appu Ghar gets back :-)

The story of little Goltu

Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man - Rabindranath Tagore

Read little Goltu's story (http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Help_pours_in_for_Blueline_victims_baby/articleshow/2796911.cms)

and you will agree that there still are some people in this world who are not going to disappoint God.

Enjoy your share of God’s coffee!

I found this nice one in my mailbox today:

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired. During their visit, the conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups -- porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, some exquisite -- telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the alumni had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said, "Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it is just more expensive and, in some cases, even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups, and then you began eyeing each other's cups."

He continued ..."Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money, and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The type of cup one has does not define, nor change, the quality of life a person lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee, God has provided us."

God makes the coffee, man chooses the cups. The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly….

Enjoy your share of God’s coffee! And have a great life.