My trips to the beauty salon have always been for a basic skin and hair care routine - facial, hair cut and threading. This time, though, I decided to get Pedicure and Manicure done. The salon had been sending SMS that skin and hair experts will be present for 2 days to provide guidance - free of cost, of course. I have always maintained a healthy skeptimism about such experts because I have found, on more than one occasions, that they try to sell you the most expensive product on the menu - citing a long list of real and imagined benefits. Whatever. I decided to keep my distance from these experts this time.

But as they say - man proposes, God disposes. No sooner was I seated, one of the attendants came to me and excitedly introduced me to the skin care expert. I pointed out that it was not me but my mom, who had chosen to accompany me, that was going for facial that day. The expert started peering at my mom's face. I didn't dare look at my mom, who, I am sure, must have been bewildered at the prospect of putting her skin under the human microscope. The expert the proceeded to elaborate on what was right (a fairly short list!) and what was wrong with her list. Then she started advising us on what kind of facial to go for. I listened to her and when she paused for breath I jumped in saying that we were pressed for time that day but will surely heed her advise next month. Her face fell somewhat at that. To cheer her up, and also to reconfirm my suspicion, I asked her to point out the aforementioned facials on the salon's service menu. Bingo! The recommendations were some of the last in the facials offerings - the most expensive. The lady who always does my facials arrived on the scene and I handed my mom over to her - with my own recommendation of what facial was to be done.

I waited for the guy who always does my hair cut. Over the years, he has done a superb job of helping me grow my hair from shoulder-length to just short of waist-level so I guess I can even trust him with my soul. :-) You need to have a good Karma to be blessed with a person who can give you the right hair cut. Trust me on this one! After the customary hair-wash, I gave him the usual instructions - don't cut the hair too short and for heaven's sake, don't straighten it while drying. I then waited for him to begin. 'We have a hair care expert with us today. Would you like to go for his opinion?' he asked. You too Brutus! I nodded (as if I had any choice). A tall guy with a huge tattoo materialized, seemingly out of thin air. I was sitting or else I would have surely jumped back in alarm.

'And what is your hair problem?' his reflection in the mirror asked me with a smile. I was a bit unsettled, having to talk to someone's reflection. Ah, but that means he is not a vampire, a small voice said inside my head. 'I don't have any problem but I was told to go for a consultation' I blurted out. He smiled again. 'You don't like curly hair?' he asked me. 'Oh no, I am fine with my hair. I like it that way'. And that's the truth. There was a time when I used to yearn for straight hair that could be tied up tight without a strand being out of place. But over the years I have realized how rare a curly mop of hair is. And so I would like to keep mine as it is. 'But it is a bit unmanageable, isn't it?'. Yes, no two opinions about that. It was positively unruly. 'You shouldn't brush curly hair so much. Then it gets more unmanageable' he said. What? I work for a living. And the state of my hair is not a sight for sore eyes when I tumble out of bed in the morning. If I travel to office without combing it, I won't be allowed to board any public transport. 'How can I go to office without combing my hair?' I asked him, dumbfounded. 'Oh no! I meant after you wash it' he said, taken aback. 'You do apply conditioner, don't you?' The fact is that I do, no matter what the state of my hair says. The effect lasts for a day, if I am lucky. And then every strand listens to its own mind about where to stay. I nodded. 'Okay, then after you wash it off, just comb your hair with a wide comb and leave it at that. It won't get entangled and won't spread out so much' Really? Thank you so much for that tip. I have been struggling with this problem forever' I said and meant every word of it. 'Yep, you can try it out and let me know. I will be here sometimes over the weekend' he said. 'You got it' I said.

'You got beautiful hair' he said walking away. 'Yeah right! I bet you have said it to every woman who walked in through those doors today' I said to myself.

The haircut was done and there would be some time before the Pedicure and Manicure would start so I sat reading the John Grisham novel that I had brought with me. Mom was unlikely to emerge from her facial anytime soon. 'You want to get Pedicure and Manicure done, madam?' someone asked and I looked up from the book. A young girl had bent so close to my face that she was halfway into what should have been called 'my personal space'. I tilted back and replied in the affirmative. She spun the same yarn about the skin care routine. I tried my best to avoid it but was prevailed upon. The expert was again brought in. But she had wizened up I guess because no sooner she saw me she said that she has met me already. Truth was that she had advised my mom and not me. But I guess we both wanted to give each other as wide berth as possible. So I nodded and she went away.

One girl sat at my feet and the other one took charge of my hands. Most of the Indians are brought up with the teaching that it is rude on your behalf to touch anyone with your feet. Now, technically, the girl doing my pedicure was touching my feet and not vice versa. But It was discomforting none the less. It took me some time to get used to the idea. When I took my attention of my feet, I found that the girl doing my manicure was asking me whether she should file my nails round. There cannot be any other way of filing it, is it? I didn't know. I said yes. Then she asked me something else to which I really didn't have any answer. To avoid further confusion, I told her that this was the very first time in my life that I was doing this. 'What? You have never done Pedicure and Manicure before?' she asked incredulously. Last time I checked, this wasn't a sin. But maybe it is now. I nodded. 'Okay, then I will make all the choices' she said. 'Whatever suits you, sweetheart!' I said to myself, relieved that I won't be subjected to the cross-examination again. It was weird to sit with both hands on bowls of lukewarm water. I felt like Mogambo. But the feeling lasted only for a second because I continuously had to do the bidding of both girls. Every now and then they would ask me to move my hand or my foot out of the water, apply something on it and ask me to dip it back. With 2 hands and 2 feet, it was difficult to keep track of what to do when. I wondered what the Indian Goddesses would do if they ever have to get Manicure done - given the fact that most of them have 4 or 8 hands!

After filing nails and applying cream on the fingers, both the girls started prying something out of the corners of the nails. Afraid that they might draw blood, I asked what they were doing. 'Removing dead cells. There are lots of them' came the reply. Imagine! I had been carrying them along with me all this time. No wonder I felt so heavy :-) After what seemed like an eternity, I got one of my hands back - if only to sip the iced tea on offer. And then there was time to choose the nail polish.

The girl fished out a tray containing bottles of perhaps every imaginable hue and color. Then she held out bottles of yellow, green and blue. I had visions of our Head HR falling in a dead faint at the sight of them. 'I can't wear any of these to office' I said, trying hard not to sound shocked. 'How about that shade?' I inquired, spotting a shade of dark brown. 'But that's dark' she protested. 'Who said anything about not wanting a dark shade?' I felt like saying, like Kareena Kapoor in that ad. 'I like that one' I said firmly. Never mind the HR Head!

And so I emerged, with a perfect mane of my curly hair, cut to perfection, a tad too soft for my taste, but with not a strand out of place. I must confess though, that I don't see much of a difference when it comes to my hands and feet. Oh well, there's plenty of time for that, considering the fact that I have bought a package of 4 sittings - at a discount of 25%! A perfect treat for myself on the occasion of Women's Day!