The 3 mistakes of my life (SPOILER)

Note: If you haven’t read this book yet but plan to read, skip this entire post.

In my recent post I had mentioned that I liked Chetan Bhagat’s “One night at a call center” better than his “Five Point Someone”. Somehow, I liked his latest offering “The 3 mistakes of my life” even lesser than “Five Point Someone”. And the most irritating aspect is that I am not able to put my finger on exactly why.

But I will give it a try. Let me see, I thought I could identify with the three 21-year old central characters – Govind, who after his father walked out on them is supplementing his mom’s snacks selling business with his math tuitions and sports shop which he runs with his two friends; Ish (he reminds me so much of Vroom from the call center book) who is crazy about cricket and Omi, who ends up at the shop because that lets him hang out with his friends besides saving him from becoming a priest like his dad. I could also understand the RamJanmabhoomi-Babri Masjid backdrop against which the story unfolds. Then walks in Ali – a muslim prodigy who can hit 4 straight sixers. Ishaan takes him under his wings and the 3 friends try to do the best that they can for him – Omi a bit reluctantly at first. In the meantime, Govind falls for Ish’s sister Vidya who is taking math tuitions from him.

Things started getting a bit unrealistic for me when the 3 friends end up in Goa to seek the visiting Aussie teams’ opinion about Ali. And if that wasn’t enough, they fly off Down Under to one of the Aussie player’s Sports Academy for a week! After we have been given a generous dose of Aussie slang like “mate” and “fair dinkum”, Ali declares that he would rather take his chances against playing in Team India than become a resident of the Kangaroo land for the rest of his life. The friends come back to India with Ali in tow.

And then Godhra happens. Omi’s maternal uncle, Bittoomama, loses his only child in the massacre. And baying for Ali’s blood he descends upon the abandoned bank where the 3 friends are holed up with Ali as the city goes up in flames all around them.

I couldn’t help but think that after this point the novel plot resembles that of a Hindi potboiler. Honestly, what will be your first reaction if an intoxicated mob brandishing Trishuls and other assorted weapons comes charging at your door? Will you call the cops or decide to deal with the matter yourself? I don’t know about you but I would dial 100 – even if I think of the possibility that the cops could be hand in glove with the crowd. Better still, I would try to find out the number of a local newspaper or TV channel and contact them along with the cops. Even if you allow for the fact that these friends were flustered and panicked, you can’t understand why they decide to reason with the crowd. Moreover, they manage to fight the crowd by setting the premises on fire! This sounds so much like some Hollywood movie plot – starring Bruce Willis/Sly/Jean Claude. :-)

After this my only interest in reading the novel to the end was to find out who died and who lived. Omi dies saving the kid – reminding me of the proverbial hero’s best friend who dies saving either the hero or the hero’s leading lady (who he too has tragically fallen in love with – in 9 out of 10 instances!). What’s more bizarre, Govind, Ali and Ish manage to kill Bittoomama and his remaining henchmen. What is this - one of Sunny Deol’s action movies?

And then the final scene in the hospital where the author who is visiting Govind (he is in for stomach pumping after trying to commit suicide by popping sleeping pills!) manages to bring back Vidya (who is packed off to Mumbai after her parents find out about her affair with Govind) and Ish (who stops talking to Govind after he finds out in the climax that Govind has been sleeping with his sis) so that they can forgive him. The only thing that is missing is the clichéd Gajar ka Halwa and Mooli ke parathe. As this story takes place in Guajrat, I almost waited for the plates of doodhpak and theplas to make an appearance. ;-)

On top of it, we get to hear a philosophical lecture from Govind’s Ba about how you should forgive people even if they hurt you and about how our country needs to learn this too. Dear Ba, in case you haven’t been reading newspapers lately, what our country needs urgently is a better crackdown on the terrorist organizations, a speedy judicial system that will punish the guilty so as to deter others like them and people in droves from both communities who will work hard towards dispelling the centuries’ old misunderstandings.

All said and done, Chetan, mate, fair dinkum, yeh book kuchh hazam nahi hui :-(