Raj Thackeray says ‘Bhaiya’ is the problem.

And Asaram Bapu says ‘Bhaiya’ is the solution.

Incredible India!

(Forwarded)

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from.

Our government seems to have taken this teaching to heart when it comes to dealing with Pakistan. As usual, our good-for-nothing-but-terrorism neighbors have violated the ceasefire by killing two Indian soldiers, shown the level to which they can stoop by mutilating the body of one of them and are now claiming innocence. The politicians who unfortunately govern India are busy making inane remarks like ‘Whatever has to be done will be done’. If that means lodging ‘strong’ protests or summoning Pakistan’s high commissioner, then that’s clearly not enough. God knows it has never been enough.

What needs to be done is severing all ties with Pakistan – immediately. Stop importing anything from them. Stop exporting anything to them. Close all routes going to and coming from that country. Don’t allow any musicians, actors, cricketers and assorted Pakistani citizens to set foot on Indian soil. And lastly, if any pro-Pakistani people this side of the border start making sympathetic noises, ask them to shut their trap or move to the other side. Oh, and BTW, the nations like the US who assume that they have a God-gifted right to meddle in any country’s sovereign affairs would do well to set their house in order first.

While we are at it, someone please ask Madam Hina Rabbani Khar what in the hell does she mean by ‘I hope both the countries will show their commitment to correct (the situation) as we are showing our commitment to correct’. The only thing her country is trying to correct is the position of the Line of Control – since past 65 years!

I have, for years, heard an idea, a very romantic one, being touted around - ‘The common man in Pakistan wants to have peaceful relations with India.’ Well, if this common man really exists there, then it is high time he speaks up.

Until then India should adopt a new Mantra – An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Let the bloody whole world go blind – and toothless!

Peace is a funny business. It eludes you when you are desperately looking for it. And then makes it a point to sneak up to you when you are least bothered about it. It happened with me last week. There I was, chugging along homewards in the evening, in a bus, with fellow commuters. I had finished reading the day’s newspaper during my morning commute. I had put in an honest day’s work and accomplished all the things on my to-do list for that day. And now homeward-bound, was reading the novel that I had bought from the library that I have joined after a gap of nearly 4 months.

My fellow commuters were a silent lot as well. Some were listening to music, some were reading and some were busy looking out the window. The weather was as pleasant as it can get in Mumbai – maybe a bit too cold for my comfort. There was no commuter standing about in the aisle thrusting his or her backpack in my face and no one was fighting with the conductor.

That was when I felt at peace, totally at peace – with myself and with this world. It was so absolute that I kept the book down to savor the moment and to maybe hold on to it for a teeny weeny bit longer. The teeny weeny bit soon passed and I returned to the novel with a smile.

What do Abhijit Mukerji, Mohan Bhagwat, Kailash Vijayvargiya and Asaram Bapu have in common? Clearly, none of them have heard of Mark Twain who famously had said “It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt”.

While waiting for the bus on most mornings, I have observed a very disturbing trend among the motorists. They no longer wait for the signal to turn green. In the best case scenario, they keep inching along till the signal changes and then zoom away. In the worst case, someone, usually a biker, is the first one to ignore the red signal and race away. Soon the rest follow suit. There is absolutely no regard for the hapless pedestrians who happen to cross the road at the same time. And if any motorist, with perhaps some ounce of civic sense, does not cross the line, the rest are prompt in honking loudly as if he/she is committing a sin by waiting for the signal to turn.

Why are we always in such a tearing hurry? Why can’t we wait for just a few seconds? Why do we always need someone to monitor us to make sure we fall in line as if we are in Kindergarten school?

Why can’t we follow rules when no one is looking?