What an idea, sirJi

I like the new Idea ad that shows teaching children located in far-flung areas through the mobile phones. But then I have always fallen for mushy ads that tug at one’s heartstrings. So I loved everything about the children – their repeating the teacher’s “Good Morning, Children” instead of saying “Good Morning, Teacher”, their marching to the PT teacher’s voice through the phone, their innocently declaring the need to go for a toilet break (to the teacher who is not in their vicinity) and above all their eager crowding around the cell phone to learn and educate themselves.

In true Hindi movie style, at the end of the ad, the best student award goes to the small girl child whose grandfather was shown earlier pleading with the headmaster to admit her in his school because there is none in his village. And the last scene is the perfect crowning glory – a lone child sitting in front of the cell phone when another one running past tells him that it’s a Sunday today!

But every time this ad ends and I am smiling away at this novel idea of taking education to the grassroots level, I can’t silence the little voice inside my head that asks two pertinent questions – one, who is going to foot the bill for all these calls and two, how can you teach subjects like math and science remotely when the children can’t see what’s written on the board. Afterall, we cannot promote learning by rote.

Oh please, but this is just an ad. And for this ad I will definitely say “What an idea, sirJi”

A nightmare called "Jannat"

I had the misfortune of watching a nightmare called (ironically!) “Jannat” starring Imran Hashmi. I am yet to figure out how this movie’s story is different from that of Vaastav and Gangster. The songs however are capable of outlasting the movie in your mind (as they say in marketing parlance "share of mind"!) – right from “Jara si dil me de jagah tu”, “Tu hai ha tu hai” to “Char dino da pyar o rabba”.

So if you care for a little unsolicited advice – stay away from the movie and for the songs.

Book of the Dead (Spoiler!)

Nope, this has got nothing to do with Imhotep and Anck Su Namun! I recently finished reading this book by Patricia Cornwell and lived to tell the tale. Much as I like watching CSI – Miami and CSI- New York and CSI – everywhere else, I am not a fan of blood splattered murder scenes and mutilated bodies. But this book has plenty of both and that could be why I can totally relate to the expression “sick to my stomach” after finishing this book.

But that’s just one of my problems. My other and more fundamental problem is that all through the book I couldn’t shake this feeling that I have walked in on a movie right after the intermission. That was because I was reading this book without going through prior adventures of her weirdly-named Medical Examiner – Dr. Scarpetta.

Though I plead guilty as charged, I believe that the authoress hasn’t made it easy for a first time reader to figure out the characters and their relations with each other. It started with Maroni and Marino. Why, oh, why couldn’t Ms. Cornwell come up with different sounding last names?

As if I wasn’t having enough trouble sorting the two of them out in walked Dr. Self. I mean she literally drops out of thin air on an unsuspecting reader. For one whole page I was under the impression that Scarpetta is referred to as Dr. Self by people because maybe she is too pompous.

Then I got confused about who got murdered first – the Canadian tourist or Drew Martin. As if the body count wasn’t sufficiently high, poor Karen hanged herself. And I am still confused as to whether it was one lady who got murdered in her villa or there were 2 of them who got bumped off.

That’s in addition to wondering about who killed Little Will. It somehow doesn’t sound consistent with Will Rambo’s pattern of killing vulnerable ladies. But maybe I am thick when it comes to such psychologically complex crimes. Hell, I didn’t get “Silence of the lambs” when I watched it for the first time.

As for the other characters, I am not sure what the Italian carabinieri is doing in the plot. I am not sure what Dr. Self gets out of driving people to suicide. I don’t know what role Scarpetta's sweetheart Benton Wesley has played in her other adventures but here he doesn’t have much to do. Marino (or is it Maroni) has disappeared – possibly to surface again in some future thriller.

And I am left tearing my hair out like poor Mrs. Webster after reading this book which has vivid descriptions of mutilated decomposing bodies.

One thing however cannot be ignored. The descriptions of soldiers ending up with their guts hanging outside their bodies or survivors with deep emotional scars – no longer seem far-fetched. Mr. Bush, please read this book after November, 2008.

There are dumb questions and then there are dumb questions. I came across one such question last week when I was reading an interview with Bush administration’s Lead cyber Security Advisor – How important do you think Information Security is for a country like India.

The advisor gave a run-of-the-mill answer but I seriously wish he had said something like “Oh, I don’t think it matters even a bit. It’s just a waste of time, money and efforts to think about Information Security. Don’t believe them when they tell you that only the paranoids survive. Keep all your important and sensitive documents right where even your friendly neighborhood computer wiz-kid can lay his/her hands on easily. After all even the hackers and intruders have a Right to Information!”