Friday, April 3, 2009

The Charlemagne Pursuit

I have always been a sucker for fictions on ancient mysteries and long-lost treasures. So when the backcover informed me that the book is about the Nazis’ search for a long-forgotten “first civilization” in an attempt to link it to their fabled Aryan ancestors, I knew I would have gladly wrestled any other person who wanted to get the same book issued. :-) I am talking about Steve Berry’s “The Charlemagne Pursuit”!

Ex–Justice Department agent Cotton Malone has wondered about his father’s death for 38 years. Things don’t get any easier when he learns that Captain Forrest Malone didn’t die in a nuclear sub accident in the North Atlantic as stated by the US Navy but actually perished while on a secret submarine mission to the Antarctic. Christl and Dorothea are on the same quest because their father was one of the 9-10 people who died along with Cotton’s dad. The unlikely allies embark on the journey to the frozen continent – aided by ancient manuscripts found in Charlemagne’s grave - where they stumble upon as secret that could change the history of the mankind for sure. At the background, is Admiral Langford Ramsey who is nursing his ambition of becoming the next Joint Chief of Staff.

Much as I enjoyed the novel, I must confess that the first few pages got confusing for a while – especially when I resumed reading after a gap of 2-3 days – as the plot kept going back and forth between different locations. I also wondered why the author marked the beginnings of many chapters with timelines – after all, the story doesn’t happen across a day or two. There were a couple of mistakes like “ring a neck” instead of “wring a neck” – which I think are quite unpardonable.

But despite that, this is a nice book to curl up with!

P.S. If you are a lover of ancient mysteries, do look up “The Piri Reis map” on the net. While you are at it, you might also find information on “Nine Mens Morris Game" pretty interesting.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

I saw Aamir Khan talk about this site yesterday on TV - http://nationalelectionwatch.org/. I am yet to go through it thoroughly.

It was late at night and I decided to surf the news channels before going to bed yesterday. On CNN they were showing live coverage of the world leaders arriving at 10, Downing Street for a “Working Dinner”. With dismay, I realized that except for our own Manmohan Singh, France’s Sarcozy, Germany’s Merkel and of course US prez Obama, I didn’t know any world leader by either sight or name.

It was amusing to see, though, how Sarah and Gordon Brown welcomed all the leaders – some going it solo, some arriving with their spouses – and directed them to face cameras first this way and then that. Some of the guests seemed momentarily confused by the order in which they were supposed to stand for the advantage of the media – the males next to Mrs. Brown and the ladies next to Mr. Brown.

I wondered if at the back of her mind, Sarah Brown was wondering, like any good hostess, about whether her guests will like the dinner menu or not – especially as they came from different parts of the world. :-) I also wondered about who was keeping track of whether everyone has arrived or not. And who was that lady who slipped into the PM's residence by herself?

If for a moment, we keep aside the fact that the world is full of countries that are sworn enemies of each other, it felt good to see all these people who are leading their countries to gather together in one place, smiling at each other (if only for the benefit of the cameras!) and chitchatting on the steps for a while before going in. If only, we could manage to resolve all our differences, the world will be a much better place to stay in. :-(

Mr. India and Augean Stables

The moment I tuned in to “Times Now”, however, I was brought down to earth at the sight of the BJP and Congress spokespersons defending their errant “Netajis”. Congress’ Jayanati Natarajan seemed totally miffed by Anil Dharkar’s comment that politicians are shameless. She wanted to know how he can say such a thing. You are right, Ms. Natarajan. Not “all” politicians are shameless, but about 99.99999999% of them are.

And BTW, Mr. Dharkar was right on the spot when he said that they don’t give a damn about being caught on the camera!

Hercules might have cleaned up the Augean Stables but I am pretty sure that to clean up the mess in Indian politics, we will need our very own home-grown Mr. India!

The latest SMS from the BJP camp:
Rs 25 lakh Crores, belonging to Indians, is estimated to be stashed away in Swiss Banks. We will do our utmost to bring this wealth back to India.

Alright! Now I have a couple of questions:
1. Whose accounts is this “wealth” going to end up in once it’s brought home to India?
2. How about the politicians first coming clean with what they have ‘stashed’ in the “Swiss Banks”?
3. Don’t we have more pressing problems facing the country than this?

कहानी मनेकाके महाभारतकी

We don’t know whether Varun Gandhi has taken sister Priyanka’s advice and started reading “Bhagwad Geeta” but Mamma Maneka sure would do well to go through the Epic Mahabharata. Only then would she realize that the only thing common between Abhimanyu and Varun is that they both rushed headlong into something which they didn’t know how to come out of. :-)

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

If you want to have a hearty laugh in the middle of the day, check this one out: http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/News/PoliticsNation/In-Gurujis-land-Congress-leader-gives-lessons-in-netagiri/articleshow/4337060.cms

It is said that “The idea behind opening the school was to inculcate political values among those who wanted to make politics their career,”. I am wondering what "political values" he is exactly referring to. :-)

And though I agree that "‘giri’ means mountain", I doubt if "Giri" in "Netagiri" is used in that context. Otherwise "Dadagiri" would mean "a bully whose personality is like a mountain" :-)

When the supermarkets started dotting the city landscapes, there was a huge hue and cry about how they are out to wreck the mom-and-pop stores and as well as the friendly neighborhood kirana stores। And though I knew these supermarkets offered convenience and product range that the friendly neighborhood grocer could hardly match, I still didn’t want these kirana stores to disappear.

There’s no denying that they knew their customers personally। Our family grocer would recite a couple of things you would need for cooking every time my mom gave him the list of groceries every month end. And more often than not, she would spot 2-3 things that she might have otherwise missed out on. If you got out of the cab and didn’t have change, you could confidently march to his shop and he would be glad to give it to you. And they would know and inquire about the whole family. The old dad of one of the neighborhood grocers would always ask my mom “Baby SSC ho gayi kya?” even after I graduated from the Engineering college. :-)

But lately, I have been losing patience with these shops। Take last evening for instance. I was out of the cereal and so thought I will buy some on my way back home. I got into the neighborhood grocer and asked for Kellog’s Oat cereal. This guy has a shop-in-shop arrangement with Monginis and so he was busy taking order on phone. There are only 2 helpers in the shop and neither of them can read or write. I told one of them what I wanted. He returned with wheat flakes. Seeing the pleading look on my face, the shopowner, who by now had finished with his phone order, asked him to get the blue one. He then got busy with another customer who wanted to decorate a birthday cake.

The shop boy in the meantime showed me the Fruity Loops or whatever it’s called। I gave the shopkeeper another helpless look. He asked the boy to get the whole box so he would be able to pick out the right cereal. It was getting hot in the small shop and there were 2-4 more people standing cheek-by-jowl with me.

Five more minutes passed before the boy returned carrying 5-6 small packs of cereal in his arms – like Hanuman bringing up Dronagiri। The shopkeeper looked through them but they all were corn-oat flakes. He asked me if I could wait for a little while but my patience was wearing thin so I excused myself and walked out.

I went to the next shop and repeated my request to the old man who was standing at the counter। He shouted out to another guy who climbed on top of the rice sacks to get the box out of the top shelf – it was of wheat flakes. When I told him I wanted Oat cereal, he reprimanded the old man for not hearing it right. He then climbed up again to hand me Oat cereal but of another brand. I was so exasperated by then that I just walked out. I know, it’s rude but I had been sorely tried for 20 minutes.

I have only myself to blame because I had violated the cardinal rule – never go to the kirana store for anything but the basic items. I am going to the supermarket today evening!

गाड़ी बुला रही है, सिटी बजा रही है

Rama Bijapurkar’s article in yesterday’s edition of Economic Times (“Metaphor for new Indian Middle Class”) brought back fond memories of long-distance train travel. I am saying “memories” because the last long-distance train journey done by me was about 4 years back (The train ride in Ooty last year wouldn’t qualify as long-distance!).

I agree - flying saves time।People also say that it is loads more convenient than train travel. But, personally, I find train travel more convenient because I don’t have to pass through any security check points. I don’t have to wait in line at the check-in counter for my turn. I don’t have to worry that my check-in luggage will end up into the belly of another airplane bound for some remote part of the country (or worse, of the world!). And there’s lot more happening at the train station than at the airports so time really flies by – even though you are at the train station :-) The only problem with the train journey is the state of the on-board toilets - which I am told hasn't improved much :-(

I can still recall the train journeys I used to make with my family to my maternal grandparent’s place in Karnataka over summer vacations. More often than not, it used to be mom, me and my brother because dad obviously couldn’t get two months off – like us school children! Ah, the bliss that was childhood. So we would start in the evening from home – having packed the bags over previous 2 days – a joyous task! We would worry about whether we would get a cab in time, we would worry about the traffic in route, we would worry that someone else would occupy the window seat and we would worry about the kind of co-passengers we would have.

The cab would deposit us at VT station in due time. I always worried that the porter will dump our bags and walk away – totally freaked out by my mom’s incessant instructions. But there must be a Patron Saint somewhere for India’s train passengers because he porter always took us to the right platform. I could never figure out how he would know it but there never seemed to be enough time to find out because he would set such a pace that we 3 would be running for our lives after him – my mother instructing us to keep an eye on the biggest and brightest piece of our luggage – a sort of a homing beacon. :-)

Reaching the right platform was half the battle won. The next feat would be, of course, locating your compartment. We would double check the passenger list stuck outside the compartment – just in case. But here too, the porter was always right. I always tried to turn deaf for next 5 minutes or so because no matter what my mom paid, the porter would never be satisfied. And I always used to feel sorry for him. I mean, it’s not exactly a cakewalk to negotiate the crowded platforms with bags stacked on your head and tucked under your armpits – not to mention the constant flow of instructions from the passengers.

After we settled ourselves and the luggage, my brother and I would be busy checking out the hustle-bustle of the platform – the sight of other passengers running after their porters as if their life depended on it was a sight that used to be especially amusing for us, despite us having going through the same hassle a couple of minutes earlier. Mom would be fussing about the train leaving on the right time. And then there would be all those people selling newspaper, tea and snacks – each one with a particular way of announcing his product. Of course, this was a “Happy Day” scenario – if we didn’t get any window seat, my mom would have to put up with no end of grumbling from the two of us – and this despite the fact that the majority of the travel would be at night.

I have always believed that the most magical moment in the entire rail journey is the moment the train leaves the originating station. :-) The train would bellow out a long whistle and start moving. That would be a signal to all those who have come to see off their relatives, to say their goodbyes or shout out any last minute instructions. The more energetic of this lot would jog along with the slowly moving train for a while. But then the train would gather speed and these people would fall behind – just waving goodbyes, their friends and relatives on the train leaning out of the doors and windows till the train moved out of the station completely. If you want to find out the true meaning of the word “See off” be at the train station :-)

Sometimes the train would leave a couple of minutes later than its scheduled time. The passengers would then talk about the driver “making up” for the lost time during the night. And me, I would be happy that the journey has just begun. :-)

The train would run through the city and its suburbs for a while but soon it would be the turn of the small towns to speed by our windows. The train would zoom past a number of stations – sometimes you would be able to see their names, sometimes they would be a blur. And then slowly the sun would set – blanketing everything outside in inky darkness.

We never bought any food on the train but it would be fun to polish off what mum would have packed for the journey. Soon, people would start unfolding the berths and we would reluctantly go to bed – rocked to sleep by the music of the wheels traveling in waves from one compartment to the next and by the gentle rocking of the train. I still remember getting up in the middle of the night and looking out the window to catch a glimpse of some small station fleeting past – its platforms deserted and a lone feeble lantern the only indicator of its presence. We were like ships passing in the night!

To reach Belgaum, though, we would change the train in the wee hours of the morning – all groggy – at Meeraj station. And we never missed this train so maybe what the passengers would say about the driver making up for the lost time in the night was right afterall. J By the time we settled in the new train, it would be early morning so sleeping would be totally out of the question. Luckily, mom would allow us to have tea and batatawadas – though they violated her every rule on hygiene. I still remember the way the vendor used to shout out “चाय, वडा, कोफ़्फ़ीई, कोफी, कोफ़्फ़ीई”.

The landscape out the window would now be totally different – red earth, green patches of fields, shimmering pools of water and tiny cottages। Sometimes the train would hurtle through small towns – people on bicycles and scooters waiting patiently at the railway gates for the train to pass through. Little kids would run along with the train waving at the passengers and some of the enthusiastic ones would wave back. Sometimes a truck or a tempo could be seen snaking its way along some distant road and then it would turn and head off into the horizon – God knows bound for where.

We knew by heart names of the 3-4 stations before Belgaum and we would get very excited when the train passed the first of these। Mom would have her hands full taking care of the luggage and keeping us in check. I remember there was a fort which would be a sort of a signal for us to gather all our belongings in one place. There would be a crowd – sleepy looking – with assorted luggage, right next to the compartment door. Then the board bearing the name “Belgaum” would slide into focus as the train slowed down. Mom would ask us to keep an eye out for grandpa. We would see him and soon the train would come to a stop – a complete confusion reigning supreme for some moments as the passengers would try to get out and the porters would try to get in at the same time to take hold of the luggage.

We would happily climb out as grandpa wove his way through the crowd। And just as the porter picked up our bags we would hear the familiar whistle as the train chugged out of the station – bound for its next stop.

It’s been years since I last went to Belgaum। I might not go there again. But everytime I hear a train whistle, I remember the song:

गाड़ी को देख कैसी है नेक, अच्छा बुरा न देखे
दुश्मन के यार, सब है सवार, सब को चली है लेके
जीना सिखा रही है, मरना सिखा रही है
गाड़ी बुला रही है, सिटी बजा रही है
चलना ही जिंदगी है, चलती ही जा रही है

Sunday, March 29, 2009

At a party, someone yelled "All married guys, please stand next to the person who has made your life worth living".

The bartender was almost crushed to death :-)
Here are two lines from an old Hindi movie song – for all those who have made ‘religion’ the topmost item on their election manifestos:

तू हिन्दू बनेगा न मुसलमान बनेगा
इन्सान की औलाद है इन्सान बनेगा
Painful though it is to watch William Shatner in his current bloated avatar (I have always been a fan of Captain Kirk!), I love watching “Boston Legal”. Granted, some of the cases they are shown handling are totally from weirdville and there are enough characters with quirks that make us wonder if the firm hires only oddballs. But the dialogues are crisp and the deadpan expressions of Shatner and James Spader make every episode a treat!