A quote that captures the spirit of Christmas perfectly:

When we were children we were grateful to those who filled our stockings at Christmas time.

Why are we not grateful to God for filling our stockings with legs?

Awards for Builders

Listen to this and laugh your guts out:

The Builders Association of India (BAI) is demanding that they should get recognition - in the form of awards - from the Indian government for their service of nation building and eradication of poverty!

That leaves poor me wondering - the last time I checked activities like land grabbing, cash transactions, mass destruction of trees and turning the cities into concrete jungles did not classify under either "nation building" or "eradication of poverty".

On the lines of "who moved my cheese" I am asking 'who changed the definition" :-)

I was reading about Pravin Mahajan trial on Times Of India site and came across the following gem:

"Gopinath Munde had told the court that Mahajan had named Pravin as the person who shot him while he was being rushed to Hinduja Hospital. The judge treated it as a dying declaration since it was made to Munde, a former minister and a responsible citizen who was not expected to lie to the court."

Now I have a few questions:

1. Aren't all ministers - former or otherwise - supposed to be responsible citizens? If not, then why is "and a responsible citizen" tacked on after "former minister"? :-)

2. If a former minister is not a responsible citizen is he expected to lie to the court? :-)

3. Whatever gave the judge the idea that ministers - former or otherwise - cannot lie to the court? :-)

What does love mean?

Sometimes forwarded mails are good :-) Here's what I got today:

A group of 4 to 8 year-olds was asked, "What does love mean?" The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.

--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toe nails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8)

--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)

--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs." (Chrissy - age 6 )

--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." ( Terri - age 4 )

--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)

--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)

--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )

--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling! He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)

--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)

--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine - age 5)

--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )

Hospital ceilings are boring

"Hospital ceilings are boring. Drive safe" I remember reading this message at one of the busy traffic junctions. A nice humorous attempt to keep crazy drivers in check!

A friend of mine seems to have found a solution to this problem of boring hospital ceilings. After her recent small surgery she advised her doctor to get some fairies and angels painted on the ceiling of the operation theatre.

"Imagine" she said to me "the look on people's faces when they wake up to see fairies and angels dancing about. "Yeah, your doc might as well start tying up with brain and heart surgeons for the package deal for the patients" I replied.

I seriously hope that her doctor hasn't implemented her suggestion. And if he has, I pray that I don't end up in his hospital!

How tall is your Christmas tree?

Christmas is just around the corner and I am yet to shop for a tree and decorations. :-(

When I think of a Christmas tree I always remember the incident from my B-School days. To brighten up the room I had placed a small Christmas tree on the study table at the beginning of the year. The housekeeping staff usually assigned to cleaning the room had seen it.

Then around Christmas a new housekeeping guy was assigned to my quad. I was sitting in the common living room as he went about cleaning my room. When he came to me to tell me that the room was done he asked me if I celebrate Christmas. I said, yes.

He had a puzzled look on his face and asked me if I am a Christian. Now realization dawned on me. He couldn't link my idols of Ganesha and Krishna with my Christmas tree. I said with an amused smile "You don't have to be a Christian to celebrate Christmas, do you?". He smiled at that and left.

I remember that after he left I had sat there wondering if I had the right to be amused at his reaction. Years before I had asked one of my Chinese colleagues about the religion he followed. I had the same confused look when he said "None".

So as I sit worrying over whether I can buy a taller tree this year, the following quote comes to mind:

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree.

In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.